Pages of a novel : August 2012

Okay, so I should be sleeping, yet here I am. My life is slowly disintegrating into a pile of crap before my eyes LOL. I SHOULD BE SLEEPING. Oh well.

1 - Who was the last person you texted? Uhm.. lemme check. My brother?

2 - When is your birthday? 8th of August :)

3 - Who do you want to be with right now? Jenwenchen!

4 - What sports do you play? Badminton, i used to play softball and netball :D

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? Alan yang

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? I don't really know :O

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? hmmm jenwen?

8 - What do you feel right now? Slightly in need of company

9 - What chocolate is your favourite? Not that much of a big fan but i guess if i had to pick one then white chocolate?

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? Never really had a proper one, but if you counted once in primary then yeah i guess 1 ?

11 - Why did you create a Blogspot account? Well originally alice told me to create a wordpress but then i discovered I liked blogging :) it keeps many memories

12 - Who is your favorite blogger? Don't know :O I have a few

13 - Where do you want to be right now? Japan :')

14 - What do you want to be in the future? I don't know... I wanted to be a doctor but I don't think I'll make it.

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why? Uhm......... like monday. Chem. Guilt.

16 - Are you happy? Right now? i'm alright, neutral?

17 - Who do you miss? nobody i can think of at the moment

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? Sort of? but not really? okay i don't make sense.

19 - What was the best thing you were given? Block letters spelling my name with everyone's signature on it :) thanks mibi~

20 - Who was the last person who called you? uh I think it was my mum? I think.

21 - What is your favorite dish? I don't know, i have many :D

22 - Who is your best friend? Jenwenchen+elaine+sunny :D actually to be honest, I view almost everyone in my group as being very very close, I think i've really stopped giving the the term 'best friend' to people.

23 - What is your biggest regret? Letting the beginning of high school affect me so much, making my determination slide.

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner? Never had a partner

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? AHEM elaine, jennifer, sunny, yee sum, daniel, kaido, no make that all my friends LOL.

26 - Name someone pretty. Salina :)

27 - Who was the last person you hugged? Jenwen, well not really hug but i was stealing her away so I wrapped my arms around her ?

28 - What kind of music do you listen to? Taiwanese, american and jap songs :) Either really upbeat or really sad songs

29 - Are you over your past? Not really, I always look back and compare myself << which is not productive at all.

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? STOP ASKING PHONE QUESTIONS omg. Okay it's um Yuki :)

31 - What kind of person do you want to date? Uh this is cliche but i guess someone who understands me properly and actually likes me properly. Someone who isn't superficial and just likes people based upon looks.

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? Yeah, so I usually sleep extra late so i can fall asleep faster.

33 - From whom was the last text message you received? My brother

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? If i had jen's legs, then jeans but seeing as I'm short then I guess skirts (:"

35 - How’s your heart? Fine thank you :D

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? nopeee never really had a bf.

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? no?

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? -

39 - Do you have any phobias? does fear of being judged count?

40 - Did you try to change for a person? Yeah, it's a bad trait but especially around new people, I feel the need to change to how they like.

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone? Uhmmm I don't really know :x

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? - wasn't in one

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? Neutral mood

44 - Name someone you can’t live without. manymanymany but i guess jenwen :D

45 - Describe your dream date. uhm i don't really mind, i guess not at an expensive place, just somewhere meaningful or casual?

46 - Describe your dream wedding. Haven't thought that far yet

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? 21

48 - Have you ever been kissed? Nope, unless parents count, but that was like 10+ years ago LOL

49 - How long is your longest relationship? 17 years, with my family :L

50 - Do you regret your past? yeah, i guess most of us more or less do

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? Yeah, if they matter.

52 - Have you ever cried over someone? Hmmmm can't really remember, but possibly?

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? Slightly :\ but that's bad soooo i'm working on it.

54 - Are you a crybaby? Personally, I don't think so. I don't cry much.

55 - Do people praise you for your looks? Not really :L

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? nope

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? uhhhh i've done bad things, but i can't remember if there was a time where i didn't regret it.

58 - Do you like getting hurt? No? who would?

59 - Does anyone hate you? Probably

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? LOLOL nopeee

61 - What hair color do you prefer? black? brown? brownish red? i don't mind

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? Longer skinnier legs

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? yeah ;))) i guess, my family?? friends?

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? nope, too scared. Plus, you should appreciate your life!!

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? Not really, but i get annoyed occasionally at certain people.

66 - Can you live without internet? Yeah, but it'd be a very lonely life indeed

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? I don't really have a special someone right now i guess :o

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? Uhhh not when i'm tearing because i'm angry.

69 - Are you a crybaby? I swear you've already asked this << but no.

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? HAHAHA all the time.

71 - Are you a KPOP fan? nope, not really interested.

72 - Do you study hard? I used to study harder but I guess now, when I absolutely have to I guess i sorta do :\ but not often enough

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? i guess?

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? nope

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? yeah, made me want to puke

76 - Did you have an accident last year? nopee

77 - What kind of person are you? uhmmm someone who is very open with their emotions i guess? i believe that the expression of emotions and thoughts to another can help solve a problem. I guess you could also say i'm quite egotistical, stubborn, headstrong and well yeah.

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? Yeah, but never seriously considered it LOL. I know we've all imagined killing someone one point in our lives :L

79 - Have you ever been jealous? Yeah, all the time for insignificant reasons

80 - How can you prove your love to someone? I don't really like saying it sooo i guess writing a letter? Helping them out with their problems?

81 - What are you thinking right now? How i have chinese school and i don't want to sleep

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? Alice, my friend from maccas :)

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? Uhmm not in particular, i guess they make me who I am now, as cliche as that sounds.

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? Uh perhaps some point in my life.

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? Yeah :\ bad habit

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? Yeah, parents and brother.

87 - Do you have trust issues? Mhhm this is a difficult question, but I guess I give most of my friends my trust until they break it.

88 - Are you broken-hearted? Nopeee :3

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? God

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? sometimes no ):

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? Not really LOL

92 - Who do you want to marry? don't really believe in marriages but i guess if I ever did get married probably obviously to someone who truly liked me?

93 - Do you believe in destiny? Not really :L

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? nope

95 - How do you look right now? retarded :D school uniform, pinned up fridge with crappy skin

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? Not really :\ i'm skeptical about this whole first love is special thing.

97 - Have you found your true love? Nope, if that even exists.

98 - What should you be doing right now? Sleeping :\

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. Uh..... i guess i don't really think of myself as ever having had one.

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Yeah, don't we all?

11:52 PM No comments

9:14 PM No comments

After struggling with trying to save my chemistry EEI until 2am this 'morning', I eventually went to sleep because I had to go orchestra the next day. Thank goodness my dad used to be an IT though, so he fixed the problem for me when I left him a note on the kitchen table this morning. He's so smart ;_; got OP1 equivalent, chose IT instead of med though << and now he volunteered for a redundancy (got paid heaps to retire). Now he's a locksmith with lots of customers (:"

Why didn't I inherit his brain?? LOL. Ahem. If i work hard enough, anything will be possible. Yes, I have one week to study for blocks, I must do this!!!! Haha badminton was fun yesterday, except my body was all sore -sigh- I'm so unfit. Finally got to go orchestra this morning :3 Sightread basically everything because we got new pieces which I never played before but it was pretty fun. Then the teacher told the woodwind to leave and it was just the strings. Well she was saying that the chamber strings group would be performing but then she invited the few of us who weren't in chamber as well to participate. I really like the songs :3

Soooo the rest of the day was pretty average. I went to music lesson at lunch time >< after like 4 weeks of not going lesson, I bet Mr. Sharp is like thinking how undedicated I am. Never skipped violin rehearsal or music lesson for so long but it's grade twelve soooo. I think he cheered up after that though, since he commented saying my hand posture and finger positioning was good. Hopefully haha, fingers crossed. After we finished at 2:10pm and were packing up though, Mr. Sharp was like "hey, you know your actual lesson this week is the first half of fourth period, so you guys wanna stay anyway and play until then?" soooo we stayed :L and played Blue Danube. :D

OH MY. FINALLY, i submitted my chemistry EEI for turnitin, only 7% similarity phewwwww. Thank goodness. It's so crap though, literally worth a C standard but I don't want to think about it anymore. ERASE :D

haueaheu just realised I got a new ad :L I shall aim to get lots of study done over the weekend. Only a few more months!!! Must work hard till then :3 This is so random, but my friends are so freaking amazing.

8:30 PM No comments

Haha... I wrote my english monologue homework during badminton training this morning because I was tired from playing. It was meant to be 500-600 words or something though, thank goodness Ms. Gilmour didn't check :x Had to write it based upon one scene in The great Gatsby. Hm as long as I make myself like something I'm learning, I find that I tend to be able to do well :) Okay shall proceed to do just that. Looking forward to the holidays :3 But jenwen won't be there ): because she is going to taiwan aiyo. Anyway, here is my weak attempt at a monologue.

Swallowing the feeling of nausea, I stood up quickly, excusing myself before stalking briskly back into the house after Tom. He was at that damned phone again, that fool of a hulking man. By the gods, must he torture me so? Masking an expression of gentleness, I floated forward, wrapping my slender arms around his tree-trunk of a waist. As I expected though, he acted oblivious to my presence and instead kept muttering into the phone. I tried again, snuggling into him before whispering, "Darling, the guests are waiting, perhaps we should get back soon?"

He turned around then, brushing me away as if I were nothing but spider silk draped over him. Such was the fate I suppose, of marrying a brute. He always had his own way after all- there was nothing I could do.

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Actually, that was pretty pathetic, how about I leave you guys with my To kill a mockingbird monologue ayes 8D Okay no one gives a crap ahem. Monologues in general are pretty boring to be honest :x Oh my, this is random but I have no idea what I want to do in the future ;_;

ENG 101 ‘Reacting’

Unit 2: X versus Y

Scene: Inside the Finch house at night.

Aunt Alexandra is pacing around in her room after having excused herself from Jem’s room.

Aunt Alexandra: (paces slowly back and forth across the room) get a grip Alexandra; it’d do you no good at all fretting like this. (Grips the back of a chair while standing) You couldn’t even stay in Jem’s room long enough to hear the rest of what the sheriff had to say, goodness gracious, where are your nerves Alexandra? You couldn’t take it anymore could you, with the two children in the room and having the guilt on the edge of your mind, but honestly I really must stop. After all, that good country man fellow did bring Jem home alive even if he does have a…severely broken arm. I…to be honest if I had gone with them, things might have been different, if I wasn’t listening to the radio maybe I would’ve heard their cries for help…so much of what happened was my fault.

(Mops forehead with handkerchief)

(Stands upright) Yes that’s right, that Bob Ewell…yes I’d always known he’d end up doing something like this someday with that terrible drinking habit of his. (Disapprovingly) He should’ve spent time being someone useful like Mr Heck Tate, helping out the folks, not stirring up trouble. That scandal there with his daughter and Tom Robinson, honestly anyone could tell he was lying. Though I can’t really say what my brother did was at all sensible, defending that black man against the whole town, (voice rises) what was he thinking, ruining the Finch reputation like that? (Sighs, fingers handkerchief and softens) But still, he is my brother after all, he did what he thought was right, putting justice first but really, I am just so tired of all this. (Looks up) What the children really need is some attention, especially Jean Louise; she really needs a proper lady to teach how to act properly, running around in overalls all day simply isn’t right for her.

(Rubs wrist vaguely and exhales)

I guess I really should’ve accompanied the children, (looks down at hands) you chose to rest at home Alexandra, instead of putting the safety of Finch children first. What you did was wrong and now look what’s happened, (looks out up and turns slowly to left) the state I found Jean Louise at, it really was heartbreaking to look at, the poor frightened face of hers… and Jem, he must have been through a horrible time. (Puts face into hands), well it’s all over now, the trial and Tom is dead, poor Helen. I just really hope we can settle down and pay more attention to the children. Yes, that’s what I must do, my brother, he needs some help with Jeremy and Jean Louise. They need some proper teaching, what Calpurnia can’t give them.

(Voice wavers)

We must get through this; I refuse to see Atticus being torn to pieces like this over court cases like Tom’s. Well now Bob Ewell is dead and I guess it is better like this, the children will be safe. Tom Robinson was innocent really, and everyone knew it, everything was just too muddled up and he really would’ve had a chance if he’d just stayed put.

(Shakes head and sighs)

What Atticus did, it really wasn’t the best choice, and he had his children to think of, instead of subjecting them to the madness of the thing with Tom Robinson. What’s done can’t be fixed, Alexandra Hancock, you (emphasis) really need to get over what happened, focus on teaching the children to speak properly like you do so they can become respected. Racism really is just too much in this town, (shrugs─ in resignation and exhales) but there is nothing we can do but pick up what’s left of the Finch’s reputation. (Rubs eyes tiredly) No doubt the blacks respect Atticus; I suppose he did help them to the best of his ability. (Firmly) Your job is to stay and help him Alexandra; it’s your role now to take the place of the children’s mother. Yes, this is the only thing you can do now, teach them how to act proper…yes (voice wonders off), there is no point thinking about what would’ve happened if you’d been there with Jem and Jean Louise. (Defeated soft tone) All I can hope to do now is help them, how things will turn out I don’t know (pause) but I just hope (pause) the rough part is over.

(Stares vaguely off in her own thoughts).

Good night! :)

8:06 PM No comments

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