I feel as though I should be updating about more recent things in my life - I can never see to catch up with it all. My excuse has been that I've been too busy enjoying the present but who knows aye, I guess blogging just doesn't bring me the same feelings as it used to and so many of my thoughts and opinions I now keep to myself. I've just been getting lazier every year I think.
Currently I finally have some holidays in between my placements so I'm in Taiwan & going to japan in a few days with some friends. It's so sad that I haven't finished blogging about my trip like half a year ago , haven't even started writing about my korea or any of the exciting things I've been doing. I feel like I need to find some parts of my old self even though every step I've been taking has been supposedly bringing myself into a better place. My life is slowly reaching a plateau, I am so close to graduating and finding a permanent job - a job which I will probably stay in for many years down the track. I cannot visualise any huge changes ahead and I guess so far it is scaring me slightly because I feel like I once had so much potential yet I've only reached so far.
I'm not too sure what I'm on about, just that being overseas and actually having more time to myself has made me realise that I'm very caught up in the bustle of life and too busy to contemplate things lately. It's a hard balance between overthinking and being reflective on my actions so that I can improve.
I realise more and more how hard it is to keep everyone I care about happy and how careless I can sometimes be. It makes me feel so frustrated with myself sometimes, that I'm becoming so complacent with people I am familiar with. I also hate the feeling of drifting apart and losing friends. They say that you can feel alone even in a crowd of people and as years go by, I've begun to relate to that more and more.
On a lighter note, I had another creepy encounter with a stranger today after a few years of relative normalcy. I was sent upstairs to score some seats for myself and some friends today while they collected our drinks but much to their amusement I was approached by some random guy in his twenties who apparently wanted to make new friends. I was sitting there when he walked over and pulled out the chair next to me - but being the pansy I didn't refuse when he asked for permission. So, I basically sat there for a solid half hour even after my friends came and joined us, just answering the guys curious questions about my life, though he claimed he was just wanting to make some new friends and was interested in our thoughts on him approaching us....
Got to love the life of being a socially anxious person HAHA.
