We failed in music fest today T_T ( some orchestra competition thingyo)



I'm just warning you that there is lots of complaint below so don't bother reading cause you know, its gonna be pretty boring and get on your nerves.


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I am so disappointed in myself argh @: why can't i just practice my violin more often instead of just touching it when there is rehearsal? I wish i was as good as everyone else yet i'm still here procastinating. There is something seriously wrong with me. Every time we have a performance i freak out and stuff up, I'm getting worse every year cause i don't practice & I always make excuses for myself. - -


Recently i've been pretty sleep deprived, yeah thats totally great for growing taller isn't it penny? I've pretty much been damaging my eyes, reducing my chances of growing because I always get distracted while i'm doing work. I need to stop making freaking excuses for myself! I keep saying to myself that this semester is the last chance I can bludge cause its grade 11 next year and how i'm saving all my effort for senior but the truth is i'm just being lazy. a;osidfjas;odifj everyone's achieving something and i'm like just being lazy. Sure, its pretty relaxing i suppose but it always ends up pretty depressing.


OKAY i will stop complaining now, it won't do any good, well one good thing outta all this is that i'm getting on with my dad better these days haha~ even though i still can't stand corny situations but ya know lol. That was pretty pointless but then again, this is my blog so whateverrr, i think i'm going crazy @@ talking to myself. If i'm so stressed now, I am definitely screwed for senior .__. i will now motivate myself more , well try to anyway. Haha , i shall blog about something more interesting next time i suppose. Lol haha, just remembered something stupid i did last time. A while ago, elaine's mum, elaine & her bro came over to my house while my parents away and elaine's mum was trying to make milktea.


elaine's mum: penny, where is the sugar?
me: Oh, she's with the people who adopted her


- - I have hearing/comprehending problems ;o hopefully i can understand things faster later on in life