I slept over at elaine's last night cause i had youthgroup till really late~ which reminds me , it was a pretty great sermon (: It really made sense to me and it was really different, i could relate to it alot and yeah, now i look back to the past few weeks, i think i've grown, (sadly not physically) but mentally. I have realised that i've been pretty selfish and unthoughtful recently so yeah, god has taught me a lot.

Okay, so i don't really have anything to blog about except for the fact that i am proud to say that i actually got 100% on my chinese test hahaha that was pointless but you know, i haven't gotten full marks for a lonnng time cause me + janice always bludge during the lessons~ I didn't really believe janice when she told me last time but yeahh ._____.

Parents are gonna be back on monday! In a way its like NOOOOO, no more super free lifestyle but then like yeah i sorta miss them too surprisingly, I'm normally a pretty antisocial-ish person lol hahaha but yeah, apparently my brother is heaps taller than my mum now which means he might be taller than me ! i hope that does not happen or it will suck. okay yeah thats it , byebye.

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I wasn't born in a christian family, and I admit, i've always had trouble keeping my faith in him, I still do even now. No one in my family went to church with me and it was kind of lonely, just following in the footsteps of others. I didn't understand the faith people had towards God all the time; the hope stories, how he changed their lives. Perhaps I was scared, scared that I was different and that God wouldn't touch me. It was hard, I didn't want to be involved as deeply in youth group anymore because I felt as though I was bad, impure compared to all the other people around me, I wished that I was like them, that they were able to be so dedicated,passionate and have such a close relationship with God. But recently, I think there has been a change in me, although I still commit many sins, I've begun to understand how I should act and how wrong I've been for these few years. The way I've treated my parents and others have been pretty bad and it's so evident that there is love among all the other families I've seen. I was never much of a express-your-emotions-passionately type of person and I always felt awkward when people displayed such love around each other. To be honest, at one point i wondered if i even loved my family because sometimes life just repeated itself everyday and it felt like a routine, like perhaps I was just used to their company in my life. Recently I think God has been sending me messages and really letting me to grow in my relationship with him. I know there are lots of people out there who don't believe in him out there but I can honestly say, I feel different. Even if it's not a complete change, I can say that a lot of things people have preached over the past few weeks have had an impact on me. Some of you reading might just dismiss this as being like every other christian out there but I'm really saying, i've felt the same way before, that I was an exception, that I was the only person who had troubles trusting God. But the truth is, God has showed me a lot, and I'm gaining my faith.