Promptings of midnight snacking
Nights like these, I find myself slathering toast with heaps of butter and eating crackers loaded with hummus 2cm thick. It's not that unhealthy you say? Well it is because I had no choice in the matter - I simply have no snacks at home.
Haha its terrible but there is barely any guilt - not enough to make me reconsider anyway but oh well. I'm treating this year as my rest year.. At midnight. Treat yoself right? Do what makes you happy? Welcome to my mid-life crisis. Okay its not as bad as it sounds. I just sometimes feel like life is getting a bit monotonous and i feel little motivation to make changes in my life despite occasionally feeling bouts of insecurity about my persons.
I've barely made chips in my new year resolutions but hey, just let me try relax for now aye? That's what I've been telling myself. Anywho hopefully after this stint of evening shifts I'll be back in the grind of daily life.
Actually, who am I kidding? I do the same thing day in day out but I really do look forward to going out with friends. I'm so glad every day that I have them with me - I almost feel little need to go out and make more friends simply because I feel as if it would be hard for anyone else to know me like I do. Everything is more guarded nowadays, I feel like I used to be more free to do anything I want without fear of judgement. I'm still pretty vocal and expressive with my opinions or feelings though, just that I tend to be more cynical and think people would mark me out to be some drama queen.
I think I just show it or say it more thats all, not that I have more emotions than most people. I think?
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