I must learn to love myself. Set myself up for my own success rather than measuring it up with someone else. 

So like i don't think I'll ever get around to blogging about all the trips and things I've done, its a shame really since I won't be able to look back as much on them and cringe on myself but oh well. My friends have recently dug up a few terrible photos I posted on my blog as a highschooler, it made me realise how the times have changed HAHA. What better way to celebrate myself becoming 21 by dredging up childhood photos? 

Since I haven't written much I thought I'd just post a photo to keep this blog alive LEL. Totally not because I thought I looked tall for once in this photo. AHEM. 

I feel as though I should be updating about more recent things in my life - I can never see to catch up with it all. My excuse has been that I've been too busy enjoying the present but who knows aye, I guess blogging just doesn't bring me the same feelings as it used to and so many of my thoughts and opinions I now keep to myself. I've just been getting lazier every year I think. 

Currently I finally have some holidays in between my placements so I'm in Taiwan & going to japan in a few days with some friends. It's so sad that I haven't finished blogging about my trip like half a year ago , haven't even started writing about my korea or any of the exciting things I've been doing. I feel like I need to find some parts of my old self even though every step I've been taking has been supposedly bringing myself into a better place. My life is slowly reaching a plateau, I am so close to graduating and finding a permanent job - a job which I will probably stay in for many years down the track. I cannot visualise any huge changes ahead and I guess so far it is scaring me slightly because I feel like I once had so much potential yet I've only reached so far. 

I'm not too sure what I'm on about, just that being overseas and actually having more time to myself has made me realise that I'm very caught up in the bustle of life and too busy to contemplate things lately. It's a hard balance between overthinking and being reflective on my actions so that I can improve.

I realise more and more how hard it is to keep everyone I care about happy and how careless I can sometimes be. It makes me feel so frustrated with myself sometimes, that I'm becoming so complacent with people I am familiar with. I also hate the feeling of drifting apart and losing friends. They say that you can feel alone even in a crowd of people and as years go by, I've begun to relate to that more and more. 

On a lighter note, I had another creepy encounter with a stranger today after a few years of relative normalcy. I was sent upstairs to score some seats for myself and some friends today while they collected our drinks but much to their amusement I was approached by some random guy in his twenties who apparently wanted to make new friends. I was sitting there when he walked over and pulled out the chair next to me - but being the pansy I didn't refuse when he asked for permission. So, I basically sat there for a solid half hour even after my friends came and joined us, just answering the guys curious questions about my life, though he claimed he was just wanting to make some new friends and was interested in our thoughts on him approaching us.... 

Got to love the life of being a socially anxious person HAHA. 

Hello guys! (If anyone is still here..), I decided today I'm motivated enough to write up a quick post about my trip (which is now... like six months ago oh my). Its totally awkward now but that aside, uhm ... following on from Yamagata we went to Hakone, which is sort of near Tokyo and another city called Takayama! I managed to get a glimpse of Mt. Fuji whilst on the bullet train, which I thought was really lucky. Yes I did take the photo while the train was still moving, skills right? 

 Yeah, so we checked into the hotel and tried to find vincent some food before dinner but alas there was nothing around so he curled up into a ball and took a long as nap on the floor whilst I went to have a dip in the private hot spring bath in my room. 

 Room was pretty small, but hey its clean and looks good so no complaining. We even bought some Choya (alcohol) and enjoyed it next to the bed.  

 Pk, vincent & I went for a little walk around the town and it was mostly just lots of little food stalls with a quiet ambience to it. But we spotted an adorable dog omg. A shiba Inu. 

 Nevertheless, a great view don't you think? We bought some Haagen-daz icecream after dinner and power walked all the way home with some peach Choya and proceeded to plan out the next day which proved slightly hectic as we were going to try on Kimono/Yukatas but that is for another day! 

I feel so lame just summarizing things from so long ago - maybe I'm meant to talk more about my thoughts or something interesting but ah well. 10/10 for awkwardness. 

Good night to you all :) 

Penny 

P.S. On a side note for something ACTUALLY recent in my life - I GOT A NEW CAR !!!!!!!!! It is a beautiful red Mazda 3 and I am in love.

I don't know whether it is because it is my final year as a student or just because I've simply grown to love travelling, but this year I have so many trips planned and lets just say with only one work day a week, my finances are going down the drain. Goodbye to all my hard earned money hahahaha (and welcome the experiences I shall gain in return). 

I am going to Melbourne in June, Taiwan & Japan in July and hopefully at the end of the year I'll have another trip to celebrate my graduation! Other than that, there are also Balls and social events to think of. I've been letting myself go this year, just enjoying life (also eating a lot, I cannot seem to stop eating). Oh well, lets hope I finish all my blog posts before I go on my next set of adventures (unlikely).

I think its getting to the point that I really need to accept that blogging isn't a huge passion anymore - I guess because so many things happen every day that I cannot be bothered to document it anymore. I remember back in the day when I used to share every single detail. I'm probably mumbling to myself most of the time but ya know. 

At the end of this year, if I still have money left I am going to treat myself to my first designer bag ever (hopefully a kate spade or prada). That is quite a commitment I have made, considering how cheap I am. Oh well.