Okay, this is going to make me sound like a whiny annoying person who can't be happy with whatever they receive but yeah. I feel like crap getting A for my jap writing test ): Now before you all go judging away, I must first inform you I've been doing jap since grade 5 with a tutor. Although i never really took it seriously till grade 9, you must admit that seeing as I've been doing it for so long, I should be topping. I'm not. I really really really really wanted a subject award, no not because I'm a perfectionist or anything but for once in my life, I wanted to achieve something.

Now, since the competition is so high, not getting an A+ has ultimately killed my chances. Argh, feel like crap. Basically, its like the feeling of getting a lower mark than a kid in grade 8 if you did their test. Not saying my class is dumb or anything, in fact they're really smart, but as in like I did tutor and all...
Just need to get out of the mindset that I'm the only working hard - -" I just like to complain more than other people i guess. Also, need to stop feeling so ashamed by admitting how much I study, cause for some reason a part of me tells me that it is somehow embarrassing to admit to those who don't study. A;aosidnfw Haha, guess I was self conscious cause no one studied for math in years 8 9 10 and I did, so it became a habit, to pretend that I was just 'naturally smart' like everyone else. Okay, goodnights, talking to jenwen now